Resolutions 2006

So here goes nothing. There were a few resolutions that poured out of my soul with no previous thought or hesitation -- resolutions that have been boiling inside for such a long time that I can't stand another year of them. That said, these resolutions are gonna be cut from sterner stuff. 2006 is the year of the Resolute Resolve, bitches.

5. A firmer grasp of money management, a trait that I've let slide while in Spain, the land of perpetual youth and cash at hand.

4. Not to forget the hard lessons learned in Spain. Similarly, to find some way to continue working hard on my skillz and to live up to my own hype.

3. To be a dilligent student, a better friend, partner, and person. All the inside stuff.

2. To reclaim a little bit of my lost youth. Since when did I become such an old man in spirit?

1. A new you in 2006! Better health, better eating habits, better posture, better body. And to never look back.

Here's to a happy, safe, and resolute 2006.

Resolutions Review for 2005

Although I truly think a month is sufficient time to mull over my resolutions for the New Year, it's going to have to wait till tomorrow. Something that I meant to do sometime last month, which accidentally turned into the forgotten month of 2006, was a review of what actually happened to Old Man 2005's resolutions. If you recall correctly (I don't), some of those resolutions stuck fast beside me all year, while others abandoned me sooner or later...

5. To keep in better contact with friends and family back home.
I will be the first to admit that I'm not so great about email contact. Don't you love getting emails? Well, me too. I just don't like sending them. It's a combination of laziness and arrogance. That said, I didn't do too bad. B

4. To enjoy Spain more in whatever fashion (speaking, friends, volunteering).
I actually squeaked this one in towards the end with a dazzling epiphany about life in general. The problem was that I was so focused on what I wasn't doing that I stopped doing anything else to be miserable about my inaction. Confusing, huh? And pretty pointless, as I made some of my closest friends in Spain (granted, Americans for the most part) in my last few months. I didn't speak any more Spanish, I never volunteered in the end, but I began to enjoy Spain in a way that had been seriously lacking. A-

3. To become much more proactive about my future. This includes but is not limited to studying while not in school (ugh) and researching more thoroughly my doctoral choices.
Well, I applied to my schools, although every last one was done in December. It was a bit hastily put-together. I have done no reading for the doctorate (STILL), although I did apply for a kinda prestigious conference and was accepted. C+

2. To join and a gym and finally lose the extra poundage and put on that extra muscle.
2005 was my fattest year ever. I joined a gym in the final two months to reduce the butterballity, but the real results are going to be taking place in 2006. F

1. To become a better champion of truth and happiness and spread yoga-chakra love to everybody blah blah blah. You get the gist.
It's objective, but holla. A+

What Jessica Alba Isn't Thinking

"Hmmm, I wonder if these will look cute on me."

via the always hilarious goldenfiddle

The Calm Before

I've got plenty to say and not enough time to get it all out. I was struck down last week by a mutant virus given to me by the BABY, of all people, and was bedridden and dying for days on end. While that doesn't adequately explain a month-long silence, just feel sorry for me. And watch out for those 15-pound caucasian baby viruses out there.

In the meantime, think about me moving to New York in a week. Here's a little McSweeney's to get you going.

Responses to People on the 6 Train That
Hopefully Convey My Feelings in a Polite Way.

BY LEIGHTON DAVIS

Thank you for so gently cupping my ass when we came to a stop.

Clipping your fingernails is such a good use of time.

You partially sitting on my lap makes me feel like we are good friends.

That was wise of you to get onto the subway before that elderly woman was able to get off.

Would it be easier to stare at my breasts if I turned a little to the left?

Now Experiencing Technical Difficulties

The two-week silence has been caused by massive internet retardedness at my house. Apparently the technicians have taken turns breaking different parts of the modem, so since the beginning of January the connection had been spotty at best before finally dying about a week ago. I'm enjoying a temporary spotty moment before it dies again. Coming up... Resolutions, Church, The Big Move.

Let's Recap

This is something that I saw on a website and thought it was pretty interesting. Well, it saves me from any soulsearching about what exactly I've done for the past year. The premise is that you take the first few sentences from the first post from each month over the last year. It is kind of interesting to see how your year has evolved or hasn't, how I have changed... or haven't.

2005
january
Being terrifically tired, Travis and I decided to watch the South Park marathon on Comedy Central to ring in the new year. Somewhere about 11:30 we fell asleep.

february
I got my haircut at way-too-trendy-for-you-so-don't-even-think-about-it Juan Por Dios! again this morning. My attempts to shmooze with the locals are endless.

march
I realize that I haven't said anything in a few days, and certainly nothing substantial in about a week. Things have been very hectic, very scary, and very exciting. Remind me to tell you about my job, to spill the gossip on new Spanish events, and to stop eating so many hot dogs.

april
Open Letter to the waitress at La Musa, Too Trendy For Me Restaurant:
I'm terribly sorry that I saw fit to return the steaming pile of fish that you placed in front of me, but it wasn't without great internal struggle. You see, as you neared me with the plate, even from far away I could tell that there was, of course, a head clearly attached to the fish.

may
Thanks be to the curative power of the sun. The temperature has risen and risen and finally, after months of winter, the sun has broken through.

june
He's got really thick glasses. When he shifts his gaze from his feet to his surroundings, he looks like a fish. He opens his mouth and closes it intermittently, blowing bubbles of nonsense words. He mutters to himself a bit. I see this man nearly everyday; he walks up and down my street.

july
Names I´m Called By The Children At Camp
Team
Deem
Bean
Ping

august
The camp bubble has burst, and I've landed unceremoniously in the real world. As the dust settled a bit, I've found that it's a bit anticlimactic to be back.

september
The plane ride home was uneventful, although I was slightly afraid that the girl next to me was going to either cough up her lung or die (or both). She continually apologized for the 8-hour cough, and I said "Don't worry. But really, are you okay?" because at that point I was afraid she was going to pass the bubonic plague on to me.

october
I arrived in Spain jetlagged and suntanned from my time in the States, and was immediately greeted by friend Jerritt, who had come to visit for a week. The next few days were a whirlwind of exhaustion and tourist sights for me, but altogether extremely fun.

november
Observation: Maybe you didn't find my class interesting. Maybe you were still a little upset that I told that no, you couldn't bring in cookies to class or drink your piping hot tea from a mug. To my credit, I did cave in and let you sip from a more conservative plastic cup and I even let you sit right next to my desk (an odd request from you, really).

december
The lights are up all around Madrid now, and I've been walking the streets with Travis and sighing contently.

2006

Over dinner I ask Adam and January (my official cohorts for the night) what their New Year's resolutions are. I spring this on them suddenly, so they're caught off guard and as such are unable to really come up with good resolutions. I've got a few fermenting in my mind, but when January and Adam decide not to turn the question back on me I leave my resolutions to simmer a while. I figure they'll be ready for a more official unveiling in a few days.

But it's not the resolutions we are all thinking about, really. In one of those pregnant pauses that happen periodically between friends, each person caught between choosing words and discarting others, January speaks up. She remembers an old superstition that I told her about, taught to me by a girl named Devon in Prague, who learned it from her mother in Connecticut. The idea is simple -- whatever you're doing at 12:00 a.m., whoever you're with, whatever is happening, that is how your new year will be. Surrounded by friends? You will be surrounded by friends. Watching the South Park marathon, falling asleep? A year of inaction (my particular fate last year).

Two hours later, January and I stuff our faces full of grapes in traditional Spanish style. We hold our grapes in our hands, waiting to hear the countdown 10! 9! 8! 7!... Instead, the countdown starts at 5! 4! 3!... and January and I hastily shove grapes down our gullets in an attempt to eat them all by the New Year. It's almost impossible, since I'm laughing so hard. January smiles at me, and a grape falls out of her mouth. The world around us explodes, the flash of cameras, people begin to kiss, to sing, someone throws confetti, and the world is sparkling, new.

I think that's a pretty good way to start the new year.