Long Overdue Stories, pt.1

The ID Card of a Whale

Before embarking on my lightning trip home a few weeks ago, and after standing in line to become an Official Foreign Resident of Spain, I realized that it might speed up the whole customs procession to have with me my Spanish resident ID card. This could be a long, dull story, so the gist of it is that I returned to the police station and surprisingly was able to pick up my newly-minted ID card. The problem is not that I'm fat, but that the camera adds 30 pounds, it shades away all traces of your chin upon de-colorizing, and it reveals you as a Giant Face taking over all of Spain. It's not a pretty sight, ladies and gentlemen.